COMPENDIUM OF A SCRIBBLER.

मुझे याद है हमारी वो पहली मुलाक़ात , जब करी थी हमने आँखो में आँखे डॉल कर बात । मार्च के महीना था वो जब देखी पहली बार तुम्हारी शक्ल प्यारी , छह माह तक बात करने के बाद भी मिलने पर बातें वही थी हमारी । मैंने पूरी त्य्यारी के साथ अपने आप को सजाया था , ताकि तुम्हें अच्छी लगूँ इसलिए हर तरकीब को अपनाया था । मिलने के समय साँसे मेरी रही थी थम , डर रही थी बेचेनी ओर घबराहट भी नहीं थी कम । सोच रही थी दिखने में मेरा दोस्त होगा केसा , एकदम अलग या जो तस्वीर देखी है वेसा । जब वह घड़ी आयी मेरे अंदर भी बड़ गयी थी बेताबी , तुम्हें वहाँ देख के दिल को जेसे मिल गयी थी खिताबी । तुम वही बहार खड़े मेरा इंटेज़ार कर रहे थे , जब मुझे देखा तो मंद मंद ही मुस्कुरा रहे थे । मेरे नज़दीक आके मुझे गले से लगा लिया , मानो इतने वक़्त का प्यार जेसे उस पल भर की नज़दीकी ने जाता दिया । इक सुकून सा मिला तुम्हें गले लगा कर , मुस्कुराई थोड़ा फिर से बेचेनी चढ गयी सर पर । बेथ के अपनी शुरुआत केसे हुई उस पर की थोड़ी सी बात , ओर हमारी कभी ना ख़त्म होने वाली बाटों से कट जाने वाली थी पूरी रात । ग़म तो सिर्फ़ घर वापि...

Sometimes I think why I didn't write anything for myself , Anything that specifically was meant for me. Let me go back to the time when I used to live in my own world and the soul of mine was free. Hidden thoughts about others worry me now a days, This was not a person I used to be. More alive, a lot more fearless, To define my personality now a picture is all I get to see. Hard to digest, harder to believe, I have made myself a big fat tree. Lost and immortal with too many ugly branches, Ready to get drown into a sinful, an unholy Sea. But I certainly see an audacious Sailor, Swaying towards me, gazing straight into my eyes, he knelt down on one of his knee. "May I have the pleasure to take you for an adventurous sea ride"?  he asked, "Why not"! I said as quickly as I could, There we were enroute paradise at the count of One Two and Three.

As tears rolled down her cheeks,  She was delivering her feelings to him. But she had no idea,  how badly he laughed, Ignored each and every word she spoke.  Yet he said, 'I'll always love you'. 

There is no point in keeping grudges with you because that won't do me any good. When I'm here with you in a relationship I should realise that it's love that keeps us together and there should be no space for ego and hatred as it would give the impression that we are not partners but enemies. And trust me I don't sleep around with one of them. Instead I rip them off. Listen I know you do not have enough time to communicate and neither I'm asking for all of your time. It's just that it's a stage where good communication is very important, may it be for 2 seconds or for a whole minute or for a long hour. I don't care but what I do care about are the things which should get communicated rightly into each other's head.  Is it too much to ask? Rest you really are an adult and you know better what's right for you. Hope you heard me clear. 

I was thinking about giving us another chance, A chance that would make things easier between us, A chance that would bring you closer to my heart, A chance that would make you realise how much you have meant to me, And a chance to introduce you to the fact that you took me and my love for granted forever and never regretted my sufferings. I came back from my subconscious stage and then, I gave myself a chance to never give you a chance ever again. 

 Late night while I was clinging on you,  Being needy for all night long.  How badly I had wished for your attention,  And wanting you to caress me from head to shoe.   I couldn't focus on sleeping, All I could have asked for; was you to lean on me. Embrace me and hear my heart beat, Hence you would know for whom it's been pounding.  I remember how you held my hand,  Clasped me and lay me on your lap. Gazing my eyes you said how beautiful I looked, I blushed more than ever but couldn't make myself understand. You stowed me next to you; ruffled my hair and said,  "I want to spend all my life with you", spoke a few words more like, "I love you " .  I replied the same and hugged you tight, That's when you sang me a lullaby, wished good night and kissed my forehead. 

My heart says and thus I write, Versing the words for days and night. Making things easy to understand, Beautifying the simple, trying it to Mend. RHYME it for Hymn, RHYME it until you rise and shine .

Perhaps, those little exchange of words passed straight through my bloodstream,   Kind of amusing and compassionate like the one in my dream.  Perhaps, entranced by the crippling malady that I endured,  Kind of a wrecked wooden chair like the one he couldn't have adored.  Perhaps, my modesty he liked or maybe the genuine idea of being in love with a disabled woman,  Kind of magical like the one exact I wanted to be my man. While holding hands, "I would like to keep fixing this broken wooden chair for the rest of my life." He knelt down on his knees and asked, "Will you Cooperate with me and be my wife?"  Spoke for one more time while we exchanged rings, With his last vows being, "You are the wind beneath my wings."

All of us are equal but it's the time that play game. At one point we  have so much around us that we stop thinking about the most important person of our life and if that special person doesn't have so much around to look for ,  It automatically makes the person alone and left out.  The same can happen with the other person, to the one who was feeling alone and left out at one point of time.  Maybe now there is so much around it that now this person forgets to remember the other person who is supposed to be this person's important someone.  How would that person  feel then?  This sounds strange but when we come back from the limelight of so much happening around us and when the charm fades away, we eventually go back to that one person, showing we want them desperately and they should give us all their time.  Remember they are those who were left alone  when they needed you the most.  But they'll still stick by you beca...

The first bath together provides so much of pleasure, The warmth of your body gives my soul peace. This is pure, the touch is so real, Our naked bodies explain our exquisite love . When you feel me in the presence of so much around us, The hot water is so ordinary when it doesnt mixes with your fragrance. I get to hear the smell of your breath that reminds me of your presence, Craving for sexual gratification is genuine at this stage of adolescence.  You fondling me like i am your everything, Reading my mind through every thick and thin. When you Grasp me from the back in haste, Shoves me towards yourself to smell my sweat and it's taste.  Smearing the soap leisurely at every end of my skin, Laying me down gently you begin to lean.  You make love to me in peace and stilly, Gradually it turns into a frenzied act which makes my voice shrilly. You place your finger before my pursed lips to hush,  I obey you immediately and start to bl...